It’s time to try out some short sentences.
Here’s what we’re working with:
The writer has used some quite wordy sentences here. It’s a dense block of text, made up of three long sentences without much light and shade.
By breaking up some of those long sentences, we can bring a bit more rhythm to this piece of writing. We’re aiming for a mixture of short and long sentences.
We could also try rewriting some of the wordier parts altogether. Obviously, we don’t want to lose any of the information the writer has included. This is just about finding shorter ways to say the same things.
Let’s see what difference those tactics make:
With a few subtle changes, we’ve brought a sense of rhythm and pace back to the text. It’s easier and more interesting to read, and it no longer looks like a big clump of words on the page.
Short sentences for the win!